9 Reasons People Love to Work With You
Some people are a
pain to be around. Most are okay. But occasionally we find someone we love to
work with.
"...Seeking self Worth from within allows to spend all energy encouraging, recognizing and validating other people--this will make people want to work with you."
Here are nine
reasons:
1. They make us feel even smarter than we are.
You know the type.
An employee, a colleague, a vendor…someone
has an idea. It's a good idea. It's a great idea. Now it's his idea.
Do it once and
people narrow their eyes. Do it twice and resentment simmers. Do it three times
and that's the last time anyone ever shares any ideas with you.
The people we love
to work with with have a knack for doing the opposite: they make their ideas
feel like our ideas. When that happens
we all work harder. We all work
with a greater sense of purpose. We all feel a greater like we're part of
something bigger.
And we're all more
likely to succeed.
2. They never find something to take personally.
A French dilettante
once said, "I am such an egotist that if I were to write about a chair,
I'd find some way to write about myself."
The people we hate
to work with see themselves as the center of their own universe, at the center
of every story they tell--and the victim of every unfortunate or negative
event.
An employee misses
work because he's badly injured? Forget him
-- look what a mess that makes of my staffing levels! A supplier has a baby and
needs to reschedule an appointment? Forget her
-- doesn't she know what that does to my schedule?
To those
people,whatever happens to someone else -- regardless of how unfortunate or
even tragic--becomes trivial; what matters most is the effect that has on me.
The only things people we love to work with
take personally are the things they can do to make life better for other people
-- because they
feel a personal obligation to improve the lives of the people around them.
3. They always find a silver lining.
You land a major
customer... but all you can think about is how hard it will be to fulfill those
new orders. You hire a superstar programmer... but all you can think about is
how much you have to pay her. You team up with an awesome partner... but all you
can think about is the control you'll lose.
Victories, in
business and life, are often few and far between. Achieving something awesome
(or even just a tiny bit cool) takes time and effort, so reasons to celebrate
can be rare.
The people we love
to work with realize that every huge goal is accomplished one small step at a
time and rightly feel every step is cause for celebration. They have a knack
for finding the silver lining in every dark cloud because they know there is always a silver lining -- you just have to be
willing to look.
And by looking, they
spread
a sense of optimism and enthusiasm -- something that is often in short
supply.
4. They never fail to share (or even give away) the
credit.
People we hate to
work with tend to be extremely political: they jockey, they maneuver, they
plot, and they always try to make themselves look better in the eyes of others
-- especially at the expense of other people. (After all, if I look good and you look bad, I'm that much farther ahead,
right?)
The people we love
to work with know the best glory is reflected glory. They step back from the
spotlight. They
let others take the credit for hard work. They let others receive the
praise for a job well done..
Most of all, they gain
a private sense of fulfillment from seeing others receive public recognition
-- because that means everyone wins.
5. They always think before they speak and act.
Ever seen someone
throw a chair because he thought his instructions had not been followed? I
have. Ever seen someone shred an employee for a mistake it turns out that
person didn't make? I have.
Ever seen someone
speak or act without thinking -- and forever revised your opinion of her? I
have.
People we love to
work with react instantly to good news. They react instantly to offer
recognition, congratulations, and praise.
But they take a long
time to think, reflect, and decide the best way to speak and act when problems
arise or when mistakes are made. They know their words and actions will leave a
lasting impact, so they do
everything possible to get it right.
Even when everything
around them seems to be going wrong.
6. They listen ten times more than they talk.
Interrupting isn't
just rude. When you interrupt someone what you're really saying is, "I'm
not listening to you so I can understand what you
are saying; I'm only listening to find a place to jump in and say what I want say."
The people we love
to work with listen more than they talk. They focus on what others say. They
ask questions not to seem smart but to better understand.
And we love them for
it.
7. They never actively seek validation.
Everyone likes
praise.
But some people need praise. Some people need constant
attention. They need constant validation that they are smart, capable, in
charge, successful. In fact, they need to know they are smarter, more capable,
and more successful than everyone else.
People we love to
work with don't care about external validation. They care about feeling good
about themselves. The only validation they seek is what they find in the
mirror.
Seeking self-worth
inside themselves allows them to spend all their energy encouraging,
recognizing, and validating other people -- which makes them awesome to
work with.
And also makes them
awesome friends.
8. They never talk out of school.
It's hard for any of
us to resist learning inside scoop. Finding out the reasons behind someone's
decisions, the motivations behind someone's actions, the skinny behind
someone's hidden agenda -- much less whether Marcy from shipping is really
dating Juan in accounting -- those conversations are hard to resist.
Unfortunately, the
people who gossip about other people are also gossiping about us... and suddenly the idea of gossip isn't so
much fun.
People we love to
work with excuse themselves from gossip and walk away. They don't worry that
they'll lose a gossiper's respect -- they know that anyone wiling to gossip
doesn't respect other people anyway.
Instead, if they
decide to share a secret, they speak openly about their own thoughts and
feelings. That way they're not gossiping.
They're
just being genuine -- and we all love being around people who are genuine.
9. They never jump on their soapbox.
The higher you rise
and the more you accomplish the more likely you are to think you know
everything... and the more likely you are to think you need to tell other people everything you think you
know.
Some people speak
with much more finality than foundation. Some people think a position or
"status" automatically confers wisdom. And that means other people
hear…but don't listen.
People we love to
work with share
their thoughts in a humble and unpretentious way. They care about what we know.
After all -- they
already know what they know.
Now it's your turn: what qualities make you love
working with someone?
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